The Dirt Man!

As I work this evening, I am listening to an interview with a professional investigator of the paranormal on the "Coast to Coast" show. He is skeptical of most of the things he has been called upon to investigate, from UFOs to haunted houses to sightings of the Moth Man. If only he could see what I've seen today! When I got up this morning, I heard a lot of grunting. Simultaneously, a man made of dirt - dirt! I kid you not! - gathered himself up and stood beside my bed. He has been with me ALL DAY and is WITH ME EVEN NOW! He's watching the screen as I type. Not only that, he's not just a mindless clod (clod, get it?) because even though I can't look into his eyes right now, I can tell he's thinking about what I'm writing.

It gets stranger. The dirt man was accompanied by a woman made of dirt, as well as a child, also made of dirt. Strange you may think it, but the dirt man seemed quite fond of them, caressing them with his hands of earth. He looked up at the sky earlier tonight and seemed to be moved by the beauty of the evening clouds.

He shows no sign of leaving, and evidently plans to be there when I go to bed. I won't be surprised if he stays with me all my days.

Amazing! A man made out of dirt, who not only functions physically, but also thinks, perceives, and feels. How did he come to be, this man of the unthinking, unconscious dust? Was he made in a moment, or did it take eons?

Either way, it would take a miracle. As any truly skeptical investigator could tell you, dirt just doesn't get up and do those sorts of things all by itself.

- Chris Ross